THREE:It was only lately that her longing for love and freedom had become a torment. Up till a year or two ago her desires had been merely wistful. Now a restless hunger gnawed at her heart, setting her continually searching after change and brightness. She had come to hate her household duties and the care of the little boys. She wanted to dancedancedanceto dance at fairs and balls, to wear pretty clothes, and be admired and courted. Why should she not have these things? She was not so ugly as many girls who had them. It was cruel that she should never have been allowed to know a man, never allowed to enjoy herself or have her fling. Even the sons of the neighbouring farmers had been kept away from herby her father, greedy for her work. Tilly, by a lucky chance, had found a man, but lucky chances never came to Caro. She saw herself living out her life as a household drudge, dying an old maid, all coarsened by uncongenial work, all starved of love, all sick of, yet still hungry for, life."That's rightfor you've no call to be. I was driven to this, couldn't help myself. Besides, I'm no worse than a lot of women wot you call respectableat least, I put some sort of a price on myself, if it's only five shillings. Now good night, young men, and thank you[Pg 405] for a very pleasant evening. I don't suppose as you'll ever see me again. And mindyou tell father as, no matter the life I lead and the knocks I get, I've never once, not once, regretted the day I ran off from his old farm. Now mindyou tell him that."
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